3 Tips to Manage Holiday Stress

For some people, the holiday season promotes anxiety and stress.  This season use our 3 tips to help manage those holiday stressors.

1. Practice Self-Care.  Be good to yourself! Get enough sleep, eat well, and keep your sense of humor.

2. Set Boundaries.  It is okay to say "NO." Choose the events that you must and want to attend.  Your body will thank you emotionally, mentally, and physically.

3. Eliminate Useless Worry.  Effectively plan ahead of time -- from organizing a gathering, to buying gifts, to taking good care of yourself. Do positive visualization before you walk into situations that make you nervous.  It's very important to enjoy yourself!

These tips are sure to reduce your anxiety and stress level.  Go ahead and give them a try.

Happy Holidays from Provide4!

Take Time to Relax

Taking time out each day to relax and renew is essential to living well.
~Judith Hanson Lasater
Self-care is an important component that many people often overlook throughout the day.  Taking time for your self can be in the form of exercise, mediation, relaxation techniques, reading a good book or maybe watching a funny movie.  Below you will find a relaxation technique that can be performed anywhere at anytime.  This is useful because it allows for you to take time for your self and practice a little self-care even if you are short on time.

5-3-5 Method:
Step 1: Inhale through your nose for 5 seconds.
Step 2: Hold the inhale for 3 seconds.
Step 3: Exhale through your mouth for 5 seconds.
Step 4: Repeat to your self calm now.
Step 5: Perform this sequence 10 times.

We hope that you find this technique helpful and relaxing.  If you need more help with with self-care tips or relaxation techniques, please schedule an appointment with one of our professional counselors at 954-800-0108.

Tips for Breaking the Cycle of Cognitive Distortions!

Cognitive distortions are systematic errors in information processing (thinking), particularly as related to one's self, one's world, and one's future. Some examples include: all or nothing thinking, overgeneralizing, should statements, labeling, catastrophing, and mind reading. 

Here are the steps to breaking the cycle of cognitive distortions:
1. Become AWARE of the negative thinking pattern.
2. RECOGNIZE negative thoughts that produce distress.
3. NOTICE that these thoughts are automatic.
4. Take note that the thoughts are often negatively DISTORTED.
5. CHALLENGE the veracity of the distorted negative thoughts.
6. CHANGE to more balanced, accurate, and adaptive thoughts.

This process takes time and patience to execute.  If you feel you need help in this area of your life, please schedule an initial consultation with one of our therapists at call at 954-800-0108.

What are you THANKFUL for?

On this special holiday, people encourage us to create a GRATITUDE list.  If you have never done this before, I am going to be like those people and encourage you to take a few minutes out of your day and honestly ask yourself... "What Am I THANKFUL For?" It does not matter how long or short your list is.  For the next two days, I would encourage you to reflect on this list and GIVE THANKS.  Happy Thanksgiving! ~Kacee Tannenbaum, LCSW

3 Tips to Increase Your FOCUS.

“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

We all struggle to maintain focus throughout our daily lives whether it is completing a task at work or a project around the house.  Here are 4 tips that will help you increase your focus to GET THINGS DONE:

1. Minimize external distraction triggers.
Break the cycle of outside distractions causing you to break your focus by wearing earphones or earplugs and put on digital blinders.  This means step away from all technology that can be distracting.
2. Pinpoint your internal distractions and stop them before they start.
Simply put the breaks on the wandering thought process. Stop thinking about what's for dinner or the inappropriate comment you made to your boss.  Think about the here and now and what must get done.
3. Prioritize tasks.
Make a list of the tasks that must be completed and give your self a deadline. You will enjoying checking things off your to-do-list.

Training your brain to focus takes patience, practice, and time.  Have some tips that help you to maintain focus? Please share. :)

4 Tips to Increase Your Self-Esteem!

When people believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Self-esteem is a person's overall evaluation of how one thinks, sees, and feels about him or her self.

Sometimes it is easy to like who you are and other times it may be a little more difficult.  The good new is you can learn to like yourself or have self-esteem at all times.  You are in control; you can make the difference.

Here are 4 tips to boost your self-esteem into high gear:

Tip #1:  Be honest with yourself. 
Figure out your strengths and weaknesses.  Hone in on those strengths and don't beat yourself up over your weaknesses.  It is important not to compare yourself to others and accept yourself for who you are.

Tip #2: Set realistic goals for yourself.  Take one day at a time and do your best each day.  Try to focus on your strengths without demanding too much from yourself. (Refer to our previous blog post, S.M.A.R.T goals).

Tip #3: Trust your own feelings. Listen to yourself and pay attention to your emotions.

Tip #4: Celebrate your accomplishments.  Enjoy your achievements and successful efforts.

Need more tips to boost your self-esteem, please contact us to schedule an appointment with one of our Certified Board Professional Counselors.

References: Mental Health America. www.mentalhealthamerica.net

TRICK OR TREAT? Why not both?

Anger is a normal, human emotion.  It is intense.  Everyone gets angry and has a right to his/her anger.  The TRICK is managing your anger POSITIVELY. And in return the TREAT will be a POSITIVE, productive life.

The first step in anger management is to get to know your anger by recognizing its symptoms. Breaking down the symptoms into physical, emotional, and behavioral, can be helpful.
Here are some following questions you can ask yourself.

Physical:
Do you grit your teeth?
Do you get a headache?
Do you get sweaty palms?
Do you get dizzy?
Do you get red-faced?
Do you get a stomachache?

Emotional:
Do you feel like running away?
Do you get depressed?
Do you feel guilty/
Do you feel resentment?
Do you become anxious?
Do you feel like lashing out?

Behavioral:
Do you cry, yell, or scream?
Do you use substances?
Do you get sarcastic?
Do you lose sense of humor?
Do you become abusive?
Do you withdraw?

If you responded "yes" to most of these questions, then it is time to work on your anger management skills.  Give one of our counselors a call today, we are here to help at 954-800-0108.

"I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. ~Dalai Lama

The definition of FOCUSED is quite simple.  Focused means to be concentrated; concentrated on or clustered around a central point or purpose.  People often lose focus and find it difficult to regain.

Here are some simple tips on how to stay FOCUSED:
1. Having well defined goals.
2. Breaking things into bite sized chunks.
3. Prioritizing constantly.
4. Tracking progress vigorously.
5. Planning ahead without fail.
6. Rewarding yourself when warranted.
7. Having positive patterns in your routine.
8. Removing distractions the best that you can.
9. Blocking out some time.
10. Keeping the result clear in mind.

Let us help you, if you are having issues with goal setting or remaining focused on your life areas.  Give one of our Board Certified Professional Counselors a call at 954-800-0108.

The Four Horsemen

According to relationship expert, John Gottoman, the 4 horsemen may have the opportunity to take over your marriage or relationship.  They make there presence known in this order: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. 

Horseman 1: Criticism. The big difference between a complaint and a criticism is this.  A compliant only addresses the specific action at which your spouse failed.  A criticism adds on some negative words about your partner's character or personality.

Horseman 2: Contempt Sarcasm and cynicism are types of contempt.  Other examples would be name-calling, eye-rolling, mockery, and hostile humor.  This is poisonous and leads to more conflict.

Horseman 3: Defensiveness. This is a way of really blaming your partner.  It really escalates the conflict to another level.

Horseman 4: Stonewalling. Eventually a partner begins to tune the other person out, which is arrival of the 4th horseman at it's best. A partner disengages from the conversation or fight and also avoids his/her marriage.

If you have one or all of the four horseman in your marriage or relationship, you may need to seek professional help.  Please give one of our professional counselors at call 954-800-0108.

References:
John Gottman & Nan Silver (1999): The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work

Relax and Soothe Yourself!

Learning to relax and soothe yourself is very important.  When you are relaxed, your body naturally feels better and functions in a healthier way.  This also allows for an individual to make better, healthier choices. Here are some simple relaxation and soothing activities that utilize the five senses of smell, sight, hearing, taste, and touch.

Smell: Bake your favorite food that has a pleasing smell, such as brownies.
          Buy fresh-cut flowers and put them in your house or office.
          Hug someone whose smell makes you feel calm.

Vision: Find a place or picture that is soothing for you to look at, like a park or local museum.
           Draw or paint a picture that is pleasing to you.

Hearing: Listen to soothing music.
             Listen to a white-noise machine.

Taste: Enjoy your favorite meal, whatever that may be.
          Drink something that is soothing like tea, coffee, or hot chocolate. Practice drinking it slowly.

Touch: Take a hot or cold shower and enjoy the water falling on your skin.
           Play with a pet.

There are many more relaxation and soothing techniques that can be utilized with the five senses. These are just a few to get you started.  If you feel that you need more relaxation in your life and don't have the necessary tools, please contact our Licensed Clinical Social Workers at 954-800-0108.

Distract yourself by counting...

Counting is a simple skill that can keep your mind busy and help you focus on something other than a negative emotion or thought.  The following are some examples:

Count your breaths. Sit in a comfortable chair in a relaxing stance.  Place one hand on your belly and take long, slow breaths.  Imagine breathing into your stomach and filling your stomach up like a balloon.  Start counting your breaths.  If you start to think about what ever is causing you discomfort, simply return your focus to counting.

Count anything else. If you are too distracted by your emotions, simply count the sounds you're hearing, the things you are seeing, the sensations you are feeling, or anything else you can put a number on. This takes the attention to something else other than you and your emotion.

Count of subtract increments by seven. For example, start with one hundred and subtract seven.  Take that answer and subtract seven more.  This activity requires extra attention and concentration and will really distract you from your emotions. 

These are only a few examples of coping skills that can be used to distract yourself from a negative emotion or thought.  If you feel that you need help in this area of your life, please give us a call. We would be happy to help you create a distraction plan to manage your thoughts.  Our number is 954-800-0108.

BOOST YOUR MOOD IMMEDIATELY!

Want to boost your mood immediately? Here are some things you can do right now. Don't wait!

1. Practice a monster smile.
2. Ask a friend for a hug.
3. Stand up and stretch.
4. Say something nice to someone.
5. Take a walk.
6. Say hello to a stranger.
7. Take time to smell a flower.
8. Remember that stress is an attitude.
9. Pet a friendly animal.
10. Visualize yourself winning.

There are many more skills that you can utilize.  These are just a few to get you started. Remember to relax and take each day at a time. You have the rest of your life to live. Need more coping skills, give us a call at 954-800-0108. Our counselors are always willing to listen. :)

S.M.A.R.T. Goals.

A "good"goal has five distinct elements:

Specific: What do you want to achieve? How will you achieve it? Why is it important to you?
Clearly define the goal.

Measurable: Outline the steps needed to achieve the goal.  Break into small steps to make it more manageable and visualize the progress. 

Achievable: Your goals should push you a little bit past your comfort zone. But, you still should be able to achieve them with commitment and effort.

Realistic: Your goals should be important and significant to you.  The outcome should impact your life.

Timely: Your goals should have a time element established.  This way you are more likely to push yourself to achieve this goal.

Below is an example of an exercise associated with goal setting.

Imagine your life just the way you want it, write down everything you have or have achieved in terms of health (fitness level, weight, strength, appearance, diet sports, performance, energy.

Rank those goals in level of importance as A-an absolute must, B-would love to do/have it, C-it's nice, but I can live without it.

Give each goal a time frame: 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years.

You are able to substitute health with other life areas such as fiances, relationships, stress, and self-esteem.

If you feel that you are having difficulties with establishing goals and sticking with them. Contact our office today, our counselors would love to help you see progress with the goals in your life.  Our number is 954-800-0108.

Weclome Back School, Welcome Back Stress

As the school year is in full swing, many parents face stressors associated with balancing house hold responsibilities, managing work, and the needs of their children. While parents attempt to manage their own stressors, sometimes the stressors of their children get overlooked.
Here a few stressful situations a child could face: worrying about academic performance, peer pressure, social interactions, drugs and alcohol, parental pressure to perform academically or athletically, or bullying. 
Children can easily adapt to change and cope.  The following are some helpful tips to mange your child's stressors: 1. Get into an organized routine. 2. Talk with your child. 3.  Empathize with your child. 4. Get to know your community members and teachers.  If the stressors of school are too intense for the family, please contact one of our mental health professionals at Provide 4. 

To view the full length version of this article, please go to the tab "Articles" at provide4.org and find the title 'Welcome Back School, Welcome Back Stress." Also, look for the article in the local Coral Ridge Newsletter.

My Declaration of Self-Esteem.

Having problems with self-acceptance or self-esteem? Read the following poem and we can guarantee that you will feel a boost of self-confidence.

My Declaration of Self-Esteem

I AM ME

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me

Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine

My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions

Whether they be to others or to myself-I own my fantasies.

My dreams, my hopes, my fears-I own all my triumphs and successes. 

All my failures and mistakes-Because I own all of me.

I can become intimately acquainted with me-by doing so I can love me

And be friendly with me in all my parts-I know there

Are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects

That I do not know-But as long as I am friendly and loving to

Myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the

Solutions to the puzzle and for ways to find more about

Me-However I look and sound, whatever I say and do and

Whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is

Authentically me-If later some parts of how I looked,

Sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can

Discard that which is unfitting. Keep the rest and invent

Something new for that which: discarded-I can, see, hear, feel

Think, say and do. I have the tools to survive. To be close to

Others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of

The world of people and things outside of me-I own me, and

Therefore I can engineer me-I AM ME and

I AM OKAY

By: Virginia Satir

Give one of our counselors a call at 954-800-0108, we are here to listen. :)

12 Ways to Cope with Stress!

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life. ~Marilu Henner

12 Ways to Cope With Stress:

• Get up 15 minutes earlier.
• Prepare for the morning the night before.
• Practice a monster smile.
• Say hello to a stranger.
• Always have a plan "B."
• Become a better listener.
• Watch a movie and eat popcorn.
• Have goals for yourself.
• Avoid negative people.
• Look at problems as challenges.
• Look up at the stars.
• Plant a tree.

Feeling like you don't have control of your life and STRESSED, contact the professional counselors at Provide 4, 954-800-0108. The best investment you can make is in yourself. Give us a call today.

Theme: Honesty

I have found that being honest is the best technique I can use. Right up front, tell people what you're trying to accomplish and what you're willing to sacrifice to accomplish it. ~ Lee Iacocca

This excerpt is taken from a professor at Florida State University, Dr. Osteryoung.  Although, he solely focuses on entrepreneurs and business. Provide 4 found this piece about honesty very true for all life areas.

  There is a story about a retiring CEO who was unsure of whom his replacement would be. He called a meeting of his top aids and said that he was going to give the position to the executive who could get the greatest results from a seed he would give them today but measure the outcomes in six months.
   One of the senior management team was Bill who just could not get this seed to grow at all though he tried so hard with different fertilizers, alternative lighting patterns and all kinds of potting soil. He just did not know what he was going to do.
  On the morning before the presentation of the results of this test, Bill was talking to his wife about what should he do. She recommended that honesty was the most important attribute for a chief executive and for him to show the pot with no growth from this seed. Bill was so reluctant to do this.
  Bill decided to follow his wife’s advice and went to this meeting with his empty pot.  When he saw the others results, he felt like a failure. Their plants were lush with growth and all were at least 4 feet high. He was so embarrassed not to have any results and many times he thought about just leaving the meeting rather than being embarrassed in front of the entire staff.
   At the meeting the CEO asked each of his team to show him the results and to tell him how they had achieved such amazing results. Of course Bill hung back and was the last to show the CEO his pot but then went up and said I tried just about everything I could think of, but I just could not get the seed to grow.
  With this statement the CEO made the announcement that he decided whom his replacement was going to be. He said Bill was going to be the next CEO as he was only person that was honest about the seeds. He went on to explain that he had boiled the seeds before hand so that there was no way for them to grow at all and Bill was only one who was honest.
   While this is only a story it clearly shows the value of honesty. Without honesty there is no trust as trust is predicated on honesty.  Honesty just should be the foundation of every enterprise.

Honesty is not just a good foundation for creating a business, but is a component that is present in every day life.  If you feel that you need to gain trust back in your life, please give one of our therapists a call at 954-800-0108.

Yes, you can! The power of positive affirmations!

Positive affirmation(s) are statements that you say to yourself to change the way you are thinking, an inner dialogue with self.  Basically, taking a negative thought and changing into a positive one.  It's important that you start with the word, "I."  Examples will be provided below.
Client's often ask, "Does this really work? How?" "Absolutely" is the normal response.  In order for the affirmation to work it must be practiced daily, usually a suggested 3 or more times a day. Here, an individual is taking negative thoughts and challenging them into positive ones.  Practice allows for the negative thoughts to get overridden and eventually replace them with the positive thoughts permanently.  Once this happens, a change in self-esteem and self-confidence increase and the individual overall feels better about him or herself.  This change is not only recognized by the individual, but also by surrounding people such as peers, friends, partners, and co-workers.
Some examples of positive affirmations include: I express my own needs and feelings.  I am happy with my weight. I am my own unique self. I know I deserve love and I accept it freely in my life. I am getting better and better each day.
Need help with positive affirmations or other area of your life, please call 954-800-0108 and speak to one of our experienced professional counselors.

Are you sad most of the time? If so, you may have depression.

It's normal to feel sad at times. When the sadness causes a person the inability to function with daily life for weeks at a time, it is known as depression.  Some common signs and symptoms of depression, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, include: feeling sad or "empty", feeling hopeless, irritable, anxious, or guilty, loss of interest in favorite activities, feeling very tired, not being able to concentrate or remember details, not being able to sleep or sleeping too much, overeating or not eating at all, thoughts of suicide, and aches or pains. The first step in treating depression is to visit a doctor or mental health professional.  The professional will complete a comprehensive assessment about the patient and symptoms.  It is important for the professional to rule out any conditions that could be affect your mood.  Depression is usually treated with medication in combination with psychotherapy (counseling).  The medications are known as anti-depressants.  There could be side effects associated with the medication such as: headache, nausea, difficulty sleeping or nervousness, agitation or restlessness, or sexual problems. It's important to discuss these side effects with a doctor.  As treatment is progressed, an individual will start to feel better.   Depression does not discriminate against ages, sex, race, or color.  It can affect everyone.  If you or someone you know is in need of help, please contact one of our certified professional counselors at 954-800-0108.  

STRESS! What is it? And how do I cope with it?

Stress is a normal physical response to events that make you feel threatened or unbalances your system in some way. Modern life is full of everyday hassles, deadlines, frustrations, annoyances, and demands.  For many people stress is so common that it has become a way of life.  In small doses, stress can actually help you perform better under pressure and motivate you to do your best.  However, if you are constantly running in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the  price. Situations and pressures that cause stress are known as stressors.  People normally think of stressors as being negative such as hectic work schedule or a rocky relationship.  However, positive events such as getting married, a new job, getting own apartment, or starting college can also be stressful.  Anything that causes you to adjust your current state of mind can be stressful. Some common external causes of stress can be work, finances, children and family, and relationship problems.  Internal causes of stress can be negative thinking, lack of assertiveness, unrealistic expectations or goals, and low self-esteem.  Positive coping skills, such as eating healthy, exercising, sleeping 8 or more hours, implementing relaxation techniques, and talking to a trusted friend, are very beneficial to manage all stressors. It is important to recognize that there is "no one size fits all solution" to managing stress. Focus on what makes you feel positive, calm, and in control.

Need help with learning tips, tools, and solutions to manage your current stressors in your life, good and bad, give one of our profession counselors a call at 954-800-0108.

Test Your Listening Skills

by Betty Lochner

Answer these questions by grading your Listening Behaviors.  Read the questions and think about whether or not the statements are true of you.

If the statement is always true of you, note the answer is ALWAYS.
If the state is not always true of you, note the answer is SOMETIMES.
RARELy would indicate that you would rarely or never listen that way.

1. I allow speakers to complete sentences before I speak.
2. I make sure I understand the other's person's point of view before I respond.
3. I listen for the speaker's important points.
4. I try to understand the speaker's feelings.
5. I attempt to visualize my reponse before I speak.
6. I visualize the solution before speaking.
7. I am in control, relaxed, and calm when listening.
8. I use listening noises such as yes, gee, I see.
9. I take notes when someone else is speaking.
10. I listen with an open mind.
11. I listen even if the other person is not interesting.
12. I listen even if the other person is a moron.
13. I look directly at the person speaking.
14. I am patient when I listen.
15. I ask questions to be sure I understand the speaker.
16. I do not allow distractions to bother me when I listen.

Grading Information
If you have mostly ALWAYS (14 to16)  you are an excellent listener. Good for you!
If you marked ALWAYS for 11 to 13 statements, you are a good listener but could use some help in a few areas.  Go back over the questions and see where those areas are.
If you marked ALWAYS for 7 to 10 statements, you are a fair listener.  You need to listen more and talk less.
If you marked ALWAYS for 4 to 6 statements you are a poor listener.  Less than 4 indicated an extremely poor listener and you really need to btush up on your active listening skills.

Please give us a call if you scored less than 13 statements with ALWAYS, we can help you improve your listening skills.  Our knowledgeable therapists can be reached at 954-800-0108.

Distress Tolerance Skills

At some point in an individual's life, he or she must cope with distress and pain.  Either it can be physical such as a broken leg or it can emotional such as anger or sadness.  In both of these cases, this is normal, but unpredictable.  When either of these incidents arise, you hope that the coping skills you have in place work.  What happens if the coping skills you have irrational and don't work for you?  Here are some simple distress techniques you can use:

1. Accepting situations, emotions, and thoughts for what they are.  Also, known as radical acceptance.  This is not being self-judegemental or self- critical of your self, or placing blame on others.  It is simply means that an individual stops trying to change what's happened by getting angry and blaming others for the situation.
2. Distract yourself with pleasurable activities.
3. Distract yourself by paying attention to someone else. 
4. Distract yourself with tasks and chores.
5. Distract yourself by leaving the situation.
6. Distract yourself by counting.

Need help implementing these skills, call 954-800-0108 and one of our skilled therapists will help you with creating a better you. :)

Self-esteem is an individuals actions, thoughts, and feelings towards self.  It is an individuals sense of personal worth and is derived mainly from inner thoughts and values.  Self-esteem is composed of such factors as self-worth, self-competence, and self-acceptance.

Here are some tips to increase your self-esteem:
Use visualization to achieve your dreams.
Develop and work at achieve your goals.
Be aware of and make an effort to change negative/self-sabotaging self talk.
Identify and embrace you feelings.  Even the ones you do not like.
Be aware of how you compare yourself to others.
Clarify your values and make decisions that are align with these values.
Identify your strengths.
Make a point to learn something new daily.
Make a list of your accomplishments.
Learn to re frame perceived failures and don't be afraid to fail in the future.
Exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and generally take good care of yourself.
Create a social life with positive people who help promote your overall well-being.
Utilize positive affirmations and mediation daily.
Congratulate yourself as often as possible.

If you need help with the way you feel about yourself, one of our therapists will be happy to help you with increasing your self-esteem.  Call 954-800-0108.

COPING with ANGER.

Follow the following steps if you feel that your anger is getting the best of you:

C = CALM DOWN!
       Say to yourself "calm now" or "STOP."
O = OVERCOME THE NEGATIVE; OPT FOR CONTROL.
        Overcome the desire to blow things out of proportion. Say to yourself "This isn't necessarily
        awful, dreadful, terrible. Easy does it! I'm in control, I can handle this."
P = PREPARE, PROBLEM-SOLVE, PLAN.
       Say to yourself "Think! Problem-solve, don't get pushy."
I = IDENTIFY; INVITE ALTERNATIVES INSTEAD OF USING INSULTS.
      Say to yourself "Imagine success, don't assume the worst. If I start to get mad I'll just be banging
      my head against the wall. Don't use insults."
N = NAME THE ANGER FEELINGS; NEGOTIATE.
       Say to yourself "I'm angry; that's a signal to think about negotiation. Remember negatives lead to
       more negatives. Negotiation can lead to win-win situations."
G = GO!  GET ON WITH THE PLAN! GET THE HANG OF ANGER MANAGEMENT! GIVE
       PRAISE TO SELF AND OTHERS.
       Say to yourself and others "Way to go! Good Job! Nice going to both of us! Thanks for helping me
       with my anger control."

If you need help with these steps or feel that you are at a lost with controlling your anger, please give us at call at 954-800-0108, and one of our therapists are willing to listen with a open heart and non-judgemental attitude.

Today, CELEBRATE YOU!

I CELEBRATE ME

I am worth celebrating. I am worth everything. I am unique.

In the whole world, there is only me.

There is only one person with my talents, experience and gifts.

No one can take my place.

God created only me, precious in His sight.

I have immense potential to love, care, create, sacrifice,

if I believe in myself.

It doesn't matter my age, or color or whether my parents loved me or not.

(Maybe they wanted to but didn't know how.)

It doesn't matter what I have been, the things I've done, mistakes I've made, people I've hurt.

I am forgiven.

I am accepted. I am okay.  I am loved in spite of everything.

So I love myself and nourish seeds within me.

I celebrate me. I begin now, start anew.

I give myself a new birth today.

I am me, and that's all I need to be.

Today is a new beginning.

A new life given freely.

So I celebrate the miracle and

I celebrate me!

Take some time today, this week, and month to celebrate you.  Celebrate who you are and who you would like to be.  Celebrate your goals and aspirations.  You are important and worth celebrating over. ;)

If you are feeling sad, blue, or down about yourself, Provide 4 can help with teaching you skills to improve your self-esteem.  Please give our professional counselors at 954-800-0108.



Communication Styles

Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success. ~ Paul J.  Meyer

This week's theme is the three different prominent communication styles: assertive, aggressive, and passive.  I will provide education about each of the three different styles and you can determine which category you fit in.

Assertive communication is a straightforward, direct, and firm approach that allows for open expression of your needs, thoughts, and feelings.  This involves advocating for yourself while respecting the needs of others.  An example of assertive communication is: " I need help with folding laundry."

Aggressive communication is a method of expressing one's needs without taking into consideration the needs, thoughts, and feelings of others. People who express themselves with the use of assertive communication are often viewed as selfish or uncooperative. An aggressive communication style is usually linked to poor emotional development or a intentional desire to hurt another person.  An example of aggressive communication is: "You never help with the dishes." A positive way to re- frame this would be: "I need your help with the dishes."

Passive communication is a form of expression that is ineffective.  A person who uses this type of communication is usually afraid or scared of confrontation and does not feel worthy enough to make their needs, thoughts, and feelings known to others.  This person is afraid of saying no or making others angry. A doormat is what comes to my mind when thinking of this communication style. An example of passive communication is: "Well, I guess I can take you to the mall even though I have to go to work."

Which communication style do you fit in?  Do you need help with learning tools to be a more effective communicator?  Call one of our psychotherapists at 954-800-0108 to develop assertiveness!

Create a "BETTER" you!

A wise person sooner or later discovers that life is a mixture of good days and bad, victories and defeats, prosperous times and tough times, and giving and taking.
They learn that it doesn't pay to let people or things get to their goat.
They learn that sometimes they need to act like a duck... let things roll off their backs, not eat at their stomachs.
They learn that a chip on the shoulder can end up as a chip on their tooth from an angry fist.
They learn that carrying tales or gossip is the surest way to lose a friend.
They learn that the world will not end if they fail.
They learn there is always another day and another chance if they're willing to start a new.
They learn that listening is frequently more important than talking.
They learn that to have a friend first you must be a friend.
They learn that people are not anymore difficult to get along with in one place than another.
They learn that by helping others they ultimately help themselves.
They learn that humor is the best medicine.
They learn that unconditional love and acceptance makes life easier.
They learn that none of us will get out of this life alive, so why worry--be happy for now is all there really is.

If after reading this poem you identified areas of your life that you need to work on, please call our therapists at 954-800-0108.  Our goal is to help you function at your fullest potential in all life areas.  Let's start creating a "BETTER" you!

Forgiveness: The Process of "Letting Go."

Forgiveness is letting go of the intense emotions attached to incidents from the past. It is important for an individual to no longer want to punish or get even with those who have hurt or wronged him/her.  Forgiveness is not condoning the act.  It is not absolution.  The individual does not absolve the person of thier responsbility for thier actions by forgiving them.  It is not something an individual doles out when others meet the requirments for being forgiven.  One can not say not say, "now that you have apologized, I'll forgive you." Forgiveness comes from the heart not the ego.  If an individual does not forgive, then engery is vested in another negative way.  It also depletes the individual's spirit and drains vitality. Stress can also be created by placing strain on the mind and body. Are you struggling with this process?  Provide 4 Inc. can help.  Our professional counselors are waiting for your call at 954-800-0108.

Who Takes Care of You?

Taking care of you, also know as self-care, is important to implement so one does not get burned out with life. Life in this case is termed as family responsibilities, intimate relationships with friends and partner, work duties, and any other thing that you may have on your plate such as exercising, planning a birthday party or event. Individuals often get wrapped up in the lists of responsibilities or to-do-lists that he or she forgets about the most important component, You! Therefore, here are some useful self-care tips:
1. Make healthy eating choices.
2. Get a good night's sleep.
3. Take time out to do something you enjoy.
4. Learn how to tell people "no."
5. Watch a funny movie.
6. Have a good laugh.
7. Deep breathing exercises.
8. Relaxation techniques.

If you need help with implementing these tools or these tools just aren't enough, our counselors can help. Please call us at 954-800-0108.

Theme: Be Mindful of Others.

Do to others as thou wouldst they should do to thee, and

Do to none other but thou wouldst be done to.

~Golden Rule; attributed to Socrates by Richard Woodville, Earl Rivers, in Dictes and Sayengis of the philosophres, 1477

"Treat others as you would like to be treated" is often referred to as the Golden Rule. How many of you believe in this moral/value and exercise it on a daily basis? How many of you occasionally execute this belief?

As we are partaking in the hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes forget this Golden Rule. We forget how important it is to treat people the way we would like to be treated and then wonder why someone may have not treated us not so well. Could it be that we were not treating that individual as good as we should have been? And therefore, that individual decided to treat us bad.

Here are some important tips to help you exercise the Golden Rule more effectively and more often:

1. Put yourself in someone else's shoes.

2. Say to your self, Is this how I would like to be treated?

3. Think to your self, How would I feel if this was happening to me?

4. Empathize with others.

5. Think before you speak.

6. Be reasonable and show love in everything that you do.

7. Be kind to others.

If we practice these tips more often and implement the Golden Rule, then our world will be more kinder and gentler. If you need help or you know someone who does with this Golden Rule, please contact our professional therapists at 954-800-0108.

Theme: Be true to yourself.

One of the most important aspects in life is to "be true to yourself, " hence the theme for the week. An individual can become so consumed with the day to day activities such as working, household chores, being a husband/wife, taking care of the children, and squeezing in exercising that he/she forgets the most important person in the world, him/her self. Individuals often lose track of the things that are important to him/her and makes him/her happy. Here are some tips for people to focus on "being true to yourself:"

1. Take time for yourself. Do something you enjoy.
2. Always keep your word even if its something small. This will make you feel good about yourself.
3. Focus on things that will make you a happy, positive, and productive person.
4. Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
5. Create goals that you can accomplish.
6. Celebrate all success and victories.
7. Put yourself first.

Please call one of our Licensed Clinical Social Workers at 954-800-0108, if you feel like you need assistance with this component of your life.

Get rid of your Listening Deficit Disorder

The second most vital aspect of communication is Listening.

According to dictionary.com, there are four definitions that define the term listen: 1. to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear. 2. to pay attention; heed; obey. 3. to wait attentively for a sound. 4. to convey a particular impression to the hearer. Therefore, one can see the most common thread associated with these definitions are "the ear."

An individuals ear is not the only component that incorporates listening. Body language, posture, and eye contact are just as important.

Harriet Lerner, PH.D., the author for Marriage Rules (2012), offers some useful guidelines for listening: 1. An individual must quiet his/her mind. 2. It is important to have an open heart. 3. Ask questions to better understand what an individual is saying. 4. Do not interrupt others and say things that causes for the other individual feeling unheard or cut short.

Improving one's listening skills will help with resolving conflict and improve the chances that people will listen more openly to what one is saying.

Need help with improving your Listening skills, please call one of our expert counselors at 954-800-0108.

What's communication got to do with it?

But communication is two-sided - vital and profound communication makes demands also on those who are to receive it... demands in the sense of concentration, of genuine effort to receive what is being communicated. ~Roger Sessions.

In every type of relationship, business, partner, or friend, communication is an integral part. Just like the beginning of the quote posted, communication is two-sided. One, there is a sender. And two, a receiver. Both of these parts are equally important when communicating. Sending a message to a person can take the form of many communication styles.

Today, the focus is on assertive communication. Assertive communication is the most healthiest communication style. Here are some examples of assertive communication statements: " I would like to know when it would be a good time to discuss the finances. I am a little concerned." "I thought you were brilliant tonight." "I know you like fish, but I prefer steak tonight for dinner." I hope you noticed the sentences began with "I." These are known as I-statements. I statements allow for an individual to express their beliefs and feelings without being judged or attacked. The I-statement is about "you" not the person you are speaking to. I-statements are most effective when being with "I" because it allows for ownership. Here are some more examples: "I feel..." "I want..." "I think..."

Changing the grammatical structure of your sentence is equally as important as your tone of voice. Be careful that your tone is not reactive or intense, because this could come across as "blaming" and can "undo" your I-statement. If you need help with learning more about communicating with others, please contact our Licensed Clinical Social Workers at 954-800-0108.

Next week, the second part of communication will be addressed, listening. (I'm sorry speak up I didn't hear you. )

2012 Count What Matters!

Eating Disorder Awareness Week is from February 26th - March 3rd, this week is dedicated to drawing attention to Eating Disorders.

I am spinning the silk threads of my story, weaving the fabric of my world...I spun out of control. Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest.

I wanted to swallow the bitter seeds of forgetfulness...Somehow, I dragged myself out of the dark and asked for help.

I spin and weave and knit my words and visions until a life starts to take shape. There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever.

There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore. I am thawing.”

― Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls

Everyone is at risk for an eating disorder, regardless of their age, creed, or color. Along with National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, Provide 4 is challenging everyone to change their thinking from the counting limits to counting what truly matters! Instead of measuring your life in pounds, calories, exercise, or tangibles, choose to recognize improved behaviors, healthier attitudes and intentional gratitude for your strengths, your assets, and your personal bests!

Here are some resources for yourself or others who are struggling with an eating disorder:
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders
www.anad.org
Eating Disorder Recovery and Education
www.gurve.com
National Eating Disorder Association
www.nationaleatingdisorder.org
Eating Disorder Treatment
www.renfrewcenter.com

Start today and ask for help! At Provide 4 Inc, our professional counselors are dedicated to increasing awareness of Eating Disorders and helping individuals who are battling with an Eating Disorder. Call us today at 954-800-0108.

Tips, tools, and solutions to manage your anger

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha

At some point in an individuals life, he or she may experience a natural emotion called anger. Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure aroused by a wrong. So, its normal and okay to have this feeling. The most important component is how an individual manages his or her anger.

Here are some useful tips to manage the "anger" emotion:
1. Relaxation Techniques

• Take deep breaths.


• Count to ten.


• Visualize your "happy" place.

2. Self-talk

• Say to yourself, "Just calm down, is this really worth getting angry over?" "I'm in control of the situation." "It's perfectly okay for me to walk away right now."

3. Rational Thinking

• Increase insight regarding which battles are worth fighting. Some individuals say "pick and chose your battles wisely. "


• Think in terms of "cooperation" not "demanding."

4. Behavioral Techniques

• Psychical activity.


• Talk about it with someone you trust.


• Practice using "I -statements." This is also called assertiveness.


• Walk away.


• Use thought blocking techniques.


• Distract yourself.

At Provide 4 Inc, our professional counselors can help you manage and learn ways to cope with your anger. Give us a call at 954-800-0108.

21 Suggestions for Success

21 Suggestions for Success

by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6. Be generous.

7. Have a grateful heart.

8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12. Commit yourself to quality.

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possession, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14. Be loyal.

15. Be honest.

16. Be self-starter.

17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

20. Take good care of those you love.

21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

These tips are located in my office as a reminder for my clients and myself to simply get through the day, week, month, or year. It is proven that if an individual continuously reads positive messages, affirmations, or quotes, then he/she will become more of a positive person and will in turn lead a successful life.

Please contact one of our professional counselors if you need help with becoming successful in your life.

Motivational Monday!

There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either IN or OUT. There is no such thing as life-in-between. - Pat Riley

My question to you is, are you IN or OUT? If you chose IN then you are committed to make changes in your life. You show dedication, determination and motivation. If you chose OUT, then we need to establish the above characteristics to change your life to make you committed to YOU! Now, the characteristics listed above by no means an exhaustive list. There are many more characteristics that display commitment. If you need help being "IN" on your life, please call us and our counselors will be more than happy to schedule a brief consultation with you. Call us at 954-800-0108.

What is anger?

Everytime you get angry, you poision your own system. ~Alfred A. Montapert

Throughout the day people experience many feelings, amongst them, anger. Individuals may be angry with friends, family, work, school, an illness, or even themselves.

Anger is a common and normal emotion that occurs in response to an individual's perception of being threatened or harmed. Manifestations of anger can include irritability, physical or verbal attacks, negativism, rage, increased heart rate, and respiratory activity.

Anger can be continuous or intermittent, directed inward or outward, and intense or mild. Anger is often focused inward which can result in self-harm, emotional outbursts, legal issues, feelings of anxiety, and violent explosive behaviors.

However, anger can be expressed apprporiately allowing individuals to let go of stress and frustration and those around you understand that you are upset.

The trick is to manage your anger effectively so that effects you positively, not negatively. Wondering how you do this?
1. Know your anger by recognizing its symptoms (physical, emotional, and behavioral).
2. Identify the situation that has made you angry.
3. Implement coping skills to manage your anger positively.
4. Communicate effectively with self or others.

Remember you are in control of your emotions and reactions.

Need help with managing your anger, please contact our therapists at 954-800-0108.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Yesterday is a memory. Today is a gift. Tomorrow is hope. Peace, love, and happiness for the New Chinese New Year!

Hope is an emotion which promotes the belief in a positive outcome related to events and certain circumstances in one's life. Do you believe in Hope or believe it doesn't exist? I challenge you to make a commitment to HOPE today. Change can start today. It doesn't have to be a new year to re-commitment to goals, morals, thoughts, and intentions. Celebrate each day and look forward in the direction you are going.

Need help with committing to HOPE, contact our therapists in the Coral Ridge area at 954-800-0108.

Happy Birthday MLK!

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Character development is crucial when changing the identity of one self to become more congruent with goals, intentions, and morals. Do you know the character qualities you are missing? In order to determine some of these character qualities I want you to think of a goal, intention, or moral that you have been consciously working on. Picture the person who you look up to, kind of like a mentor. Now, ask your self this question: What would a person with more self-esteem, courage, self-discipline, compassion, gratitude, flexibility, and resourcefulness do in my situation? By asking your self this question in relation to your goal, intention, or moral, you end up with a list of character qualities to develop or improve. Now, how do you actually make improvements with your character development? One useful tool is to imagine that you are the person you look up to, your mentor, in all situations and determine how that person would respond to the situation. In turn, you will see your character development begin to change which will positively effect all areas of your life.

If you need help with character development, please don't hestiate to contact our professional counselors at 954-800-0108.

Stress: Good or Bad?

Modern life is full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations, and demands. For many people stress is so common that it has become a way of life. Stress is not always bad. In small doses, it can help for you to perform under pressure and motivate you to do your BEST. But, when you are constantly running in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the price. Here are some useful tips to help cope with stress: eat healthy, exercise, get enough of sleep, self-care, relaxation techniques, or talk to some one you trust. There is "no one size fits all" solution to managing stress. Focus on what makes you feel positive, calm, and in control.

If you need help managing the stress in your life, please contact us at 954-800-0108. We can help.

A New Year A New You!

So, its a New Year and you are most likely coming up with a list of New Years Resolutions. Instead of creating a list, I challenge you to create New Years COMMITMENTS! I know actually committing to something can be difficult. But, you will be happy that you decided to take this challenge. So, you have one year to accomplish the commitment. You can do it! Your commitment can be anything from diet and exercise to bungee jumping.

Here are some tips to make sure your commitment is SMART (S-specific, M-measurable, A-attainable, R-realistic, and T-timely).
1. Your commitment must be specific. Define what you specifically want to accomplish.
2. Create steps to accomplish your commitment. Steps should be small and manageable. Here you are able to see your progress.
3. Identify any barriers that may get in the way of you accomplishing your commitment. Create solutions to each barrier.
4. Identify a specific time frame for you to accomplish your commitment. This has already been decided for you, one year!

Create a NEW YOU by accomplishing your commitment! You can do anything you put your mind to!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM PROVIDE4!