Thursday, June 28, 2012

Test Your Listening Skills

by Betty Lochner

Answer these questions by grading your Listening Behaviors.  Read the questions and think about whether or not the statements are true of you.

If the statement is always true of you, note the answer is ALWAYS.
If the state is not always true of you, note the answer is SOMETIMES.
RARELy would indicate that you would rarely or never listen that way.

1. I allow speakers to complete sentences before I speak.
2. I make sure I understand the other's person's point of view before I respond.
3. I listen for the speaker's important points.
4. I try to understand the speaker's feelings.
5. I attempt to visualize my reponse before I speak.
6. I visualize the solution before speaking.
7. I am in control, relaxed, and calm when listening.
8. I use listening noises such as yes, gee, I see.
9. I take notes when someone else is speaking.
10. I listen with an open mind.
11. I listen even if the other person is not interesting.
12. I listen even if the other person is a moron.
13. I look directly at the person speaking.
14. I am patient when I listen.
15. I ask questions to be sure I understand the speaker.
16. I do not allow distractions to bother me when I listen.

Grading Information
If you have mostly ALWAYS (14 to16)  you are an excellent listener. Good for you!
If you marked ALWAYS for 11 to 13 statements, you are a good listener but could use some help in a few areas.  Go back over the questions and see where those areas are.
If you marked ALWAYS for 7 to 10 statements, you are a fair listener.  You need to listen more and talk less.
If you marked ALWAYS for 4 to 6 statements you are a poor listener.  Less than 4 indicated an extremely poor listener and you really need to btush up on your active listening skills.

Please give us a call if you scored less than 13 statements with ALWAYS, we can help you improve your listening skills.  Our knowledgeable therapists can be reached at 954-800-0108.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Distress Tolerance Skills

At some point in an individual's life, he or she must cope with distress and pain.  Either it can be physical such as a broken leg or it can emotional such as anger or sadness.  In both of these cases, this is normal, but unpredictable.  When either of these incidents arise, you hope that the coping skills you have in place work.  What happens if the coping skills you have irrational and don't work for you?  Here are some simple distress techniques you can use:

1. Accepting situations, emotions, and thoughts for what they are.  Also, known as radical acceptance.  This is not being self-judegemental or self- critical of your self, or placing blame on others.  It is simply means that an individual stops trying to change what's happened by getting angry and blaming others for the situation.
2. Distract yourself with pleasurable activities.
3. Distract yourself by paying attention to someone else. 
4. Distract yourself with tasks and chores.
5. Distract yourself by leaving the situation.
6. Distract yourself by counting.

Need help implementing these skills, call 954-800-0108 and one of our skilled therapists will help you with creating a better you. :)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Self-esteem is an individuals actions, thoughts, and feelings towards self.  It is an individuals sense of personal worth and is derived mainly from inner thoughts and values.  Self-esteem is composed of such factors as self-worth, self-competence, and self-acceptance.

Here are some tips to increase your self-esteem:
Use visualization to achieve your dreams.
Develop and work at achieve your goals.
Be aware of and make an effort to change negative/self-sabotaging self talk.
Identify and embrace you feelings.  Even the ones you do not like.
Be aware of how you compare yourself to others.
Clarify your values and make decisions that are align with these values.
Identify your strengths.
Make a point to learn something new daily.
Make a list of your accomplishments.
Learn to re frame perceived failures and don't be afraid to fail in the future.
Exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and generally take good care of yourself.
Create a social life with positive people who help promote your overall well-being.
Utilize positive affirmations and mediation daily.
Congratulate yourself as often as possible.

If you need help with the way you feel about yourself, one of our therapists will be happy to help you with increasing your self-esteem.  Call 954-800-0108.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

COPING with ANGER.

Follow the following steps if you feel that your anger is getting the best of you:

C = CALM DOWN!
       Say to yourself "calm now" or "STOP."
O = OVERCOME THE NEGATIVE; OPT FOR CONTROL.
        Overcome the desire to blow things out of proportion. Say to yourself "This isn't necessarily
        awful, dreadful, terrible. Easy does it! I'm in control, I can handle this."
P = PREPARE, PROBLEM-SOLVE, PLAN.
       Say to yourself "Think! Problem-solve, don't get pushy."
I = IDENTIFY; INVITE ALTERNATIVES INSTEAD OF USING INSULTS.
      Say to yourself "Imagine success, don't assume the worst. If I start to get mad I'll just be banging
      my head against the wall. Don't use insults."
N = NAME THE ANGER FEELINGS; NEGOTIATE.
       Say to yourself "I'm angry; that's a signal to think about negotiation. Remember negatives lead to
       more negatives. Negotiation can lead to win-win situations."
G = GO!  GET ON WITH THE PLAN! GET THE HANG OF ANGER MANAGEMENT! GIVE
       PRAISE TO SELF AND OTHERS.
       Say to yourself and others "Way to go! Good Job! Nice going to both of us! Thanks for helping me
       with my anger control."

If you need help with these steps or feel that you are at a lost with controlling your anger, please give us at call at 954-800-0108, and one of our therapists are willing to listen with a open heart and non-judgemental attitude.