Don't Quit! Self-esteem

Don't Quit

by Anonymous

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and its turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about When they might have won, had they stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than, It seems to a faint and faltering man, Often the struggler has given up When he might have captured the victor's cup; And he learned too late when the night came down, How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out The silver tint of the clouds of doubt And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!

Do you like the way you look, feel, and think about yourself?  If not, you may have a problem with your self-esteem. Our trusting counselors can help you.  If this area is affecting all avenues of your life, please don't hesitate to contact us and schedule an appointment with one of our counselors at 954-800-0108.

References:
http://www.ellenbailey.com/poems/ellen_099.htm

10 Tips On How To Stay Focused

Tell the world your mood.  Why not chose focused? Below you will find 10 tips on how to get focused and increase your mood.

The word "focused" is an adjective that means to bring into focus or to be concentrated; concentrated on or clustered around a central point or purpose.

Our Tips on How to Stay Focused:
1. Having well defined goals.
2. Breaking things into bite sized chunks.
3. Prioritizing constantly.
4. Tracking progress vigorously.
5. Planning ahead without fail.
6. Rewarding yourself when warranted.
7. Having positive patterns in your routine.
8. Removing distractions as best you can.
9. Blocking out some time.
10. Keeping the results clear in mind.

We understand that it may be difficult to implement all of these tips.  Start with one and gradually implement more as you are become more comfortable with adding them to your life.

We leave you with a quote from the Dali Lama, "I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe.

Please give one of our counselors a call if you need counseling or coaching in this area of your life at 9554-800-0108.

4 Secrets to Sticking to Your New Year's Goals!

While goal-setting is an integral part for the measure of success in our business and personal lives, many of us see our goals fail before February hits.  According to Mark Murphy, author of Hard Goals: The Secret to Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (McGraw Hill, 2010)., "People set goals all the time, but 70% of [them] never end up getting carried out in any significant way."

Here are Mark's secrets to sticking with your New Year's Goals for 2013:
1. Create an emotional attachment to your goals. Develop an emotional connection with yourself and your goal.  This means that you actually care about your goal.  For example, if you are trying to lose weight because you "ought to." This maybe much more difficult to obtain, because there is no emotional connection.  But, if you connect that I must lose weight in order live a longer life and have the opportunity to see my children grow up.  Here, there is an emotional connection with the goal.
2. Create a visual representation of your goal. Build and image or vision board that represents your goal.Place this in a common area where you will see the image daily.  This reinforces the emotional bond and constitutes a constant reminder of your goals.
3. Make goals challenging.  Use the S.M.A.R.T goal process mentioned in the previous post.  However, make them challenging as this is the key to success.  It is also very important to be mentally involved with your goals.
4. Set a shorter time line.  Set 3 month and 6 month time frames for your goals. This allows for a sense of urgency and forces the goal to be "here and now."

Now it's time to harness your energy, demand more of yourself, and engage with your goals!  Good Luck!

Happy New Year!

“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” ~ Brad Paisley

Start the New Year off right by setting S.M.A.R.T goals!

A "good"goal has five distinct elements:

Specific: What do you want to achieve? How will you achieve it? Why is it important to you?
Clearly define the goal.

Measurable: Outline the steps needed to achieve the goal.  Break into small steps to make it more manageable and visualize the progress. 

Achievable: Your goals should push you a little bit past your comfort zone. But, you still should be able to achieve them with commitment and effort.

Realistic: Your goals should be important and significant to you.  The outcome should impact your life.

Timely: Your goals should have a time element established.  This way you are more likely to push yourself to achieve this goal.

Stick to your goals this year and view them as challenges.  Here is your chance to write your "good" book this year. 

Provide4 Inc. wishes everyone a Happy New Year!

3 Tips to Manage Holiday Stress

For some people, the holiday season promotes anxiety and stress.  This season use our 3 tips to help manage those holiday stressors.

1. Practice Self-Care.  Be good to yourself! Get enough sleep, eat well, and keep your sense of humor.

2. Set Boundaries.  It is okay to say "NO." Choose the events that you must and want to attend.  Your body will thank you emotionally, mentally, and physically.

3. Eliminate Useless Worry.  Effectively plan ahead of time -- from organizing a gathering, to buying gifts, to taking good care of yourself. Do positive visualization before you walk into situations that make you nervous.  It's very important to enjoy yourself!

These tips are sure to reduce your anxiety and stress level.  Go ahead and give them a try.

Happy Holidays from Provide4!

Take Time to Relax

Taking time out each day to relax and renew is essential to living well.
~Judith Hanson Lasater
Self-care is an important component that many people often overlook throughout the day.  Taking time for your self can be in the form of exercise, mediation, relaxation techniques, reading a good book or maybe watching a funny movie.  Below you will find a relaxation technique that can be performed anywhere at anytime.  This is useful because it allows for you to take time for your self and practice a little self-care even if you are short on time.

5-3-5 Method:
Step 1: Inhale through your nose for 5 seconds.
Step 2: Hold the inhale for 3 seconds.
Step 3: Exhale through your mouth for 5 seconds.
Step 4: Repeat to your self calm now.
Step 5: Perform this sequence 10 times.

We hope that you find this technique helpful and relaxing.  If you need more help with with self-care tips or relaxation techniques, please schedule an appointment with one of our professional counselors at 954-800-0108.

Tips for Breaking the Cycle of Cognitive Distortions!

Cognitive distortions are systematic errors in information processing (thinking), particularly as related to one's self, one's world, and one's future. Some examples include: all or nothing thinking, overgeneralizing, should statements, labeling, catastrophing, and mind reading. 

Here are the steps to breaking the cycle of cognitive distortions:
1. Become AWARE of the negative thinking pattern.
2. RECOGNIZE negative thoughts that produce distress.
3. NOTICE that these thoughts are automatic.
4. Take note that the thoughts are often negatively DISTORTED.
5. CHALLENGE the veracity of the distorted negative thoughts.
6. CHANGE to more balanced, accurate, and adaptive thoughts.

This process takes time and patience to execute.  If you feel you need help in this area of your life, please schedule an initial consultation with one of our therapists at call at 954-800-0108.

What are you THANKFUL for?

On this special holiday, people encourage us to create a GRATITUDE list.  If you have never done this before, I am going to be like those people and encourage you to take a few minutes out of your day and honestly ask yourself... "What Am I THANKFUL For?" It does not matter how long or short your list is.  For the next two days, I would encourage you to reflect on this list and GIVE THANKS.  Happy Thanksgiving! ~Kacee Tannenbaum, LCSW

3 Tips to Increase Your FOCUS.

“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

We all struggle to maintain focus throughout our daily lives whether it is completing a task at work or a project around the house.  Here are 4 tips that will help you increase your focus to GET THINGS DONE:

1. Minimize external distraction triggers.
Break the cycle of outside distractions causing you to break your focus by wearing earphones or earplugs and put on digital blinders.  This means step away from all technology that can be distracting.
2. Pinpoint your internal distractions and stop them before they start.
Simply put the breaks on the wandering thought process. Stop thinking about what's for dinner or the inappropriate comment you made to your boss.  Think about the here and now and what must get done.
3. Prioritize tasks.
Make a list of the tasks that must be completed and give your self a deadline. You will enjoying checking things off your to-do-list.

Training your brain to focus takes patience, practice, and time.  Have some tips that help you to maintain focus? Please share. :)

4 Tips to Increase Your Self-Esteem!

When people believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Self-esteem is a person's overall evaluation of how one thinks, sees, and feels about him or her self.

Sometimes it is easy to like who you are and other times it may be a little more difficult.  The good new is you can learn to like yourself or have self-esteem at all times.  You are in control; you can make the difference.

Here are 4 tips to boost your self-esteem into high gear:

Tip #1:  Be honest with yourself. 
Figure out your strengths and weaknesses.  Hone in on those strengths and don't beat yourself up over your weaknesses.  It is important not to compare yourself to others and accept yourself for who you are.

Tip #2: Set realistic goals for yourself.  Take one day at a time and do your best each day.  Try to focus on your strengths without demanding too much from yourself. (Refer to our previous blog post, S.M.A.R.T goals).

Tip #3: Trust your own feelings. Listen to yourself and pay attention to your emotions.

Tip #4: Celebrate your accomplishments.  Enjoy your achievements and successful efforts.

Need more tips to boost your self-esteem, please contact us to schedule an appointment with one of our Certified Board Professional Counselors.

References: Mental Health America. www.mentalhealthamerica.net

TRICK OR TREAT? Why not both?

Anger is a normal, human emotion.  It is intense.  Everyone gets angry and has a right to his/her anger.  The TRICK is managing your anger POSITIVELY. And in return the TREAT will be a POSITIVE, productive life.

The first step in anger management is to get to know your anger by recognizing its symptoms. Breaking down the symptoms into physical, emotional, and behavioral, can be helpful.
Here are some following questions you can ask yourself.

Physical:
Do you grit your teeth?
Do you get a headache?
Do you get sweaty palms?
Do you get dizzy?
Do you get red-faced?
Do you get a stomachache?

Emotional:
Do you feel like running away?
Do you get depressed?
Do you feel guilty/
Do you feel resentment?
Do you become anxious?
Do you feel like lashing out?

Behavioral:
Do you cry, yell, or scream?
Do you use substances?
Do you get sarcastic?
Do you lose sense of humor?
Do you become abusive?
Do you withdraw?

If you responded "yes" to most of these questions, then it is time to work on your anger management skills.  Give one of our counselors a call today, we are here to help at 954-800-0108.

"I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. ~Dalai Lama

The definition of FOCUSED is quite simple.  Focused means to be concentrated; concentrated on or clustered around a central point or purpose.  People often lose focus and find it difficult to regain.

Here are some simple tips on how to stay FOCUSED:
1. Having well defined goals.
2. Breaking things into bite sized chunks.
3. Prioritizing constantly.
4. Tracking progress vigorously.
5. Planning ahead without fail.
6. Rewarding yourself when warranted.
7. Having positive patterns in your routine.
8. Removing distractions the best that you can.
9. Blocking out some time.
10. Keeping the result clear in mind.

Let us help you, if you are having issues with goal setting or remaining focused on your life areas.  Give one of our Board Certified Professional Counselors a call at 954-800-0108.

The Four Horsemen

According to relationship expert, John Gottoman, the 4 horsemen may have the opportunity to take over your marriage or relationship.  They make there presence known in this order: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. 

Horseman 1: Criticism. The big difference between a complaint and a criticism is this.  A compliant only addresses the specific action at which your spouse failed.  A criticism adds on some negative words about your partner's character or personality.

Horseman 2: Contempt Sarcasm and cynicism are types of contempt.  Other examples would be name-calling, eye-rolling, mockery, and hostile humor.  This is poisonous and leads to more conflict.

Horseman 3: Defensiveness. This is a way of really blaming your partner.  It really escalates the conflict to another level.

Horseman 4: Stonewalling. Eventually a partner begins to tune the other person out, which is arrival of the 4th horseman at it's best. A partner disengages from the conversation or fight and also avoids his/her marriage.

If you have one or all of the four horseman in your marriage or relationship, you may need to seek professional help.  Please give one of our professional counselors at call 954-800-0108.

References:
John Gottman & Nan Silver (1999): The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work