Your Neighborhood Counselor
8 Tips to Help Build Your Teen’s Self-Esteem
By: Kacee Tannenbaum, LCSW
Provide 4 Inc.
Self-esteem plays a major role in how teens experience their
world. Self-esteem is developed through
an overall evaluation of oneself, including perception of self and/or others,
beliefs in abilities, feelings, and the future related to that person's world. This sense of self can be positive and
healthy, or negative and dysfunctional.
But while parents cannot create a teen's self esteem (teens
do this on their own), parents do have
a huge influence on their children's sense of self-worth. As a parent, your role is to reinforce your
child’s positive sense of self. You do
this not only by encouraging healthy behaviors but also by modeling them
yourself.
Here are some ways to help your teen have high self-esteem:
1. Teach your teen
how be honest with him or herself. Help your children figure out their own strengths and weakness, and to accept themselves
for who they are. It is important to
enhance the areas of your teen’s strengths.
Don’t let your teen compare him/herself negatively to others.
2. Teach your teen
how to set realistic goals. Help
your teen get the most out of his/her strengths without demanding or expecting
too much of them. Emphasis should be placed
on doing one's best each day and taking one day at a time.
3. Help your teen trust
his/her feelings. Encourage your
child to listen to that inner voice and to pay attention to emotions. This allows your teen to “own” his/her
emotions.
4. Teach your teen to
enjoy his/her achievements. Celebrate
your teen's successful efforts. Celebration can be in the form of praise or
going out for special treat, like ice cream.
It is important for your teen to feel special and loved.
5. Create firm
boundaries with your teen. Implement a clear set of rules and consequences
to help your teen feel secure. Security
can promote a positive self-image, which in turn creates a healthy self-esteem.
6. Tell your teen
that you love him/her. Offer hugs just for your teen being who he/she
is.
7. Give your teen words of encouragement or
praise daily. Teens remember the positive statements parents say to
them. Teens often store and replay them
at a later time.
8. Teach your teen
how to utilize positive self-talk (also known as positive affirmations). What your teen thinks, determines how your
teen feels, which determines how he/she behaves. An example of this is, “It is okay if our
team lost today. We all tried our best. You can’t win them all.”
A teen with a positive, healthy sense of self will be able
to act independently, assume responsibility, try new things, take pride in
accomplishments, tolerate frustrations, handle positive and negative emotions,
and help others. If you are already
implementing these tips, great! If not, start today. It is never too late to help reinforce your teen’s
self-esteem.
Kacee Tannenbaum, LCSW is the President/ Clinical Director
of Provide 4, Inc.
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